Monday 9 May 2011

STOP

I have to stop, seriously stop. Stop buying clothes, this is not some fatuous post either about 'oh naughty me I can't close my wardrobe door', no it is way deeper than that, it's about using clothes to plaster over the cracks in my life and I guess I am starting to notice as my life slowly moves to a slightly more comfortable place, maybe.
It started on Saturday, I have been so good and I have loved London so much over these past few Saturdays so why the breakdown? Whilst in Berlin we stayed 500m from COS but not once did I go in because I knew the exchange rate was so poor it would not be worth it, so instead I enjoyed Berlin, my intention was to visit galleries in London on Saturday but instead caught the first bus I could to COS, like a fly to shit, I just have no self control. I tried on everything and stood there and I realised I have all of it, in one guise or another, so why, why was I standing there shrouded once more in black?
I have an addiction, but to what? To an image of what I wish I was? But I already have it so why was I buying more? I would like to say I had the self control to walk away but I was so smitten by a drapey cardie I succumbed. Then onto Miss Selfridge to return a dress for Kitty, I spy a pair of shorts, I want them ,I need them, and then I think but when the hell would I ever wear them? When? for 2 weeks a year in Cornwall, so I walk away.
Top Shop I see a necklace, I love it, I want it, but it has a cheap catch and it is £60 effing pounds so I leave it.
I go to Uniqlo and try on another 8 dresses none of them fit but I do buy a cardie to wear with the the myriad of dresses I already have since the 10 long cardies I have don't look right. And I realise that all I'm seriously unhinged and I have to STOP.

Oh, and these, but they are SO lovely....Now I know you can wash them they are a god send and these grey ones have black trimmings so I may just get away with them for work.
But that's it no more, not forever but for a while, not because it's wasting my money, which it is and not because I have enough which I do. No, I have to stop because I have better things to do with my life than chase another bloody black tunic dress. I failed to go to a single gallery, I wasted the whole day to scratch an itch that was barely there at all and afterwards I felt stupid and shallow.
All this came to me yesterday when I went to the open house weekend in Dulwich, I have to focus on the here and now, the place I live and my work, and stop shopping.

2 comments:

materfamilias said...

Yes, well, John Kim seems to have a little agenda of his own, piggy-backing on your efforts, trying to get his own retail site some traffic. I, on the other hand, couldn't agree with you more. This is precisely what I've been grappling with, and until we left for Paris, I managed not to do any shopping for over three months! But the London and Paris shop windows got me fired up again, and while I'm pleased with some of my purchases, others weren't so wise, and now I'm back home and contemplating the over-abundance along with the reality that I still can't decide what it is that really suits me and/or what I really want to wear. As you say, this has much more to do with issues that should be dealt with in ways other than shopping. I'm not wanting to set any absolutes for myself, but staying out of shops as much as possible, substituting other activities, seems a good start.

indigo16 said...

Thank for the heads up about the previous comment, I was puzzled but not enough to clink on his link!
I am glad it's not just me that does this and like you it is the proximity to shops that does for me. I know if I was in the house in Cyprus I would be a lot more disciplines as the shops there are really not nice at all and by removing temptation I would focus on what I need practicality wise rather than decorative wise.
I have said it before but I could shop my own wardrobe for a year and not repeat an outfit. Time to try I guess.