Friday 20 July 2012

Normality is returning

I set the clock for an hour later this morning and slept like a baby, although where that analogy came from I don't know, since none of my babies ever slept much at all until they hit their late teens at which point they became positively Somnambulant, but I digress. I slept in and woke up feeling almost normal, I've had two weeks of unmitigated hell, punctuated with a bit of a 'do' in York, which convinced me that I’m clearly an irascible recluse who struggles to find a skerrick of small talk in such a contrived situation such as a gathering to celebrate my mother’s birthday.
It was 20 years since the last such gathering and this time I remembered to make sure the guests were happy, or rather made sure Leyla oozed her generous charm whilst I cringed in a corner. Sadly it went on all weekend with little respite, Mother was so grumpy I really did not understand how the weekend was a celebration; to me celebrating something is doing something fun. I guess she enjoyed the glow afterwards, who knows?
20 years ago she raged at me for over an hour at my inept ability to make sure her friends were suitably oiled, a scolding I have nurtured as a bitter grudge ever since. It should be noted that the day after I returned home from her diatribe I gave birth to Daisy, so my ineffectual social smoozing was clearly due to the fact was in labour and was lucky not to give birth on the York to London train.
This grudge is very typical of my relationship with Mother, were I to discuss it she would deny it had happened and if acknowledged would deny it was important, and yet after this weekend I see very little mellowing has taken place.
But the hell is over; less than two hours from now I will leave this building and plan to not return for at least a week. Instead I will be in search of some sanity saving domesticated bliss instead, which I can guarantee will last less than a week before I ache to challenge my brain a little bit more.
I spent last night catching up with a BBC series The Hollow Crown, quite the best thing you'll ever watch, I have never particularly enjoyed Shakespeare filmed but these have been sublime; my favourite so far is Henry IV part 2, so moving I cried like a baby.
The second part of my sanity saver will be to pop up to a couple of galleries after school closes today solo, as the last few weeks have entailed trailing around with anything from 1 truculent 11 years old to 65 apathetic 15 year olds, and this weekend sees yet more gallivanting with sisters and mothers, hard to feel any sympathy I know, but hopefully I can blog a little more frequently over the summer.

4 comments:

materfamilias said...

Big sympathy re the mother situation -- she sounds difficult to please! Makes me feel better about mine's diminished cognitive abilities.
Enjoy your visit to the galleries -- are the crowds fiercer than usual, with the Games?

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materfamilias said...

Hope you're doing well, just busy with life . . . you're not usually so long away from your blog and I do miss your posts. Take care, my friend.

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